I am a Christian…….a 73 year old Christian.
I believe in the Trinity…….Father, Son, and Spirit.
I believe in heaven, hell, and eternal life.
I believe in God’s promise of eternal life in paradise for me specifically.
Sounds fabulous.
So…….why do I worry about death? Because I do worry about it……..and so do you.
If you are not a Christian, if you are a secular humanist, then your worry is absolutely justified. You will die and one of two things will happen:
The lights will just go out.
You will find yourself in an eternal burning hell.
I get this…….the secular humanist’s fear of death is absolutely logical and completely justified. It is the Christian’s fear of death, my fear of death, that I struggle with.
Why does my death worry me?
The Bible doesn’t give me a lot of guidance as to what things will be like…….after I die. The descriptions of paradise are nice…..but largely symbolic. It seems safe to assume that spending eternity in a spiritual world will be very different from spending a few decades in a temporal world. Whatever is troubling me must lie in that difference.
The first thing that worries me is my ignorance. I understand very little about paradise. In fact, I lack the intellectual tools to deal with it. Eternity means that time either does not exist……or is irrelevant. How do you plan your day without the framework of time? Space, as well, may be entirely different. Does paradise have borders? The only explanation Jesus offers us is to compare marriage in paradise to marriage in this world. He pretty much says, “it just doesn’t work that way”. About all that I can know is that paradise is the creation of a God who loves me. Paradise is a gift to me……unearned…….a manifestation of God’s grace. That should be enough.
And yet, I worry.
There must be more to the problem.
The second thing that worries me is that I will be powerless……or nearly so…….in the presence of my creator. Maybe I will have a job. Maybe I will have a few responsibilities. But, I will not be in control. I have spent 73 years controlling…….manipulating my temporal environment. I’ve done some things well……others…..not so much. But, it is safe to say that I have enjoyed the power. I am proud. I am pretty sure that in paradise, my power and my pride will be drastically reduced.
Ignorant and powerless. That, I think, sums up what worries me about my death. In paradise, I will be like a child. I will be cared for. I will be loved. I will be satisfied. I will be fulfilled. But………I will not be in charge. I will have what I have really needed all along…….relationship with my creator. What I will not have is all of the things that I have pursued in this temporal world. What I will not have is the power and control that I have enjoyed during my temporal life.
My death will be the end of my kingdom. My kingdom will be replaced by the fulfillment of God’s plan for me……his kingdom.
The solution to my worry?
I must firmly place my trust in my creator. I will trust his love for me. I will trust God’s plan for me.
I will trust that being a servant in God’s eternal kingdom will be much better……… than being a sovereign in my own little kingdom.
I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows. And I know that this man was caught up into paradise—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows— and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter.
Paul comparing his ignorance of paradise to God’s knowledge,
2 Corinthians 12:2-4, ESV